Anger Management

Anger is a trance state, so hypnosis is an ideal way to tackle it. Are your angry emotional reactions causing you problems? Do you find it hard to control anger and wondering how hypnosis can help?

Life, some famous person once said, is just one darn thing after another. From our earliest days (just take a proper look at toddlers), our plans and wishes get frustrated.

Things don’t work out how we expect. People don’t do what they’re supposed to do. We don’t get what we want. It’s no wonder we get emotional, and feel like breaking things, shouting, and even hitting people.

As we grow from toddlers to adults, we learn that there is a distinction between the unalterable laws of physics which govern why the natural world doesn’t bend to our wishes and the behaviour of the people around us.

People could give us what we expect or want or ask for, if they wanted. We know this. And so we can get even more frustrated when they don’t.

It feels so wrong!

The value of anger

Of course, sometimes it is ‘wrong’ in the objective sense. But even when it is merely a matter of not getting our own way, it feels just as ‘wrong’ to us. This powerful feeling of being ‘wronged’ is anger. It is a useful, energizing emotion in its place. It drives us into action against perceived threats.

The trouble is, anger is a primitive mechanism, and its simple primitive structure has not yet caught up with the complexities of modern life, where it isn’t a good idea to treat your incompetent co-worker, say, as if they were a sabre-toothed tiger threatening your very existence.

What happens when we get angry

The chemical changes that anger triggers in our bodies make us to focus and act directly on a source of threat, without paying attention to distracting surrounding circumstances. This, necessarily, makes us lose our rational perspective.

Wen angry we become blind to the subtleties of situations, totally convinced that we are ‘right’, and ready to bulldoze over others, no matter what the objective circumstances are.

As we all know, that’s not great for our relationships with other people, at home or at work.

What’s more, if we are in the habit of getting angry when things don’t go as we expect, research shows that our health will suffer.

But how do you get in control of this primitive force and use it more wisely and appropriately?

Why hypnosis is an ideal way to take control of anger

Anger Management Hypnosis session developed by psychologists that will put you back in charge.

As you relax during hypnosis session you’ll notice that a number of profound changes take place within you. In particular, you’ll notice that

• you find yourself feeling more relaxed and ‘laid back’ in general
• you are less and less likely to be roused to anger
• when you do find yourself getting angry, you can quickly calm yourself down
• you can think much more clearly and calmly in frustrating situations and work out a way forward
• you feel more in control
• your relationships with everyone around you begin to improve.

Hypnotherapy can help those with anger management problems in several ways. The initial aim of the hypnotherapist will be to understand the root cause of your anger.

Anger management problems often stem from past experiences. These experiences can shape your behaviour and belief system. So, while you may think another person or situation is causing your anger, it may well come from yourself. Once this is understood, your hypnotherapist can begin work changing this.

To do so, your hypnotherapist will work on a conscious and unconscious level to help change your negative thought processes. Doing this may involve relaxation techniques and suggestions from your hypnotherapist to help control your anger.

The hope is that this will change your reaction to anger triggers. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and angry, you should feel calmer and more relaxed. Feeling calmer in stressful situations helps you to think more clearly so you can react in a more appropriate way.

When you are relaxed and feeling safe your hypnotherapist will guide you to reflect on your triggers. One by one you will be asked to identify the physical sensations associated with your triggers. You will be asked to examine the feelings, not to chase them away but to ‘watch them’ and then let them dissolve one by one. In this way, you will become to understand that these feelings need not take over.

Anger management hypnotherapy can also help with some of the symptoms of anger. For example, if you are suffering from anxiety, stress or depression, hypnotherapy can be helpful.

The number of anger management hypnotherapy sessions you’ll need will depend on your individual circumstances. It is likely that your hypnotherapist will teach you some self-hypnosis techniques and relaxation tips. You can use these at home when you feel angry or stressed to help you control your anger in the long-term.

How to deal with anger – self-help tips

If you have decided to seek professional help for your anger management problem, there are several things you can do in tandem to help regain control. The following tips can help you control your anger and express it in a healthy way.

Get to know your triggers

Understanding what situations make you feel angry is key. By recognising when you are likely to feel angry, you can be prepared. To do this, start taking notes when you feel angry. Try to note the following:

• What was the situation?
• Was there another person involved?
• What did they say/do to make you feel angry?
• How did you feel at the time?
• How did you behave?
• How did you feel after the incident?

After a while, you should start to notice some patterns emerging. Perhaps you get angry when you feel belittled, or maybe you feel angrier after the situation because you couldn’t express yourself at the time.

Talk through your notes with your hypnotherapist, as this can help them work with you to understand the underlying reason behind your anger. Just recognising these patterns can be an enormous help.

Give yourself some time

A simple way to help you manage your anger when a trigger situation arises is to give yourself some time before you react. This allows you to really think about how you react, rather than reacting instinctively. Try the following suggestions to see if they help:

• Take some deep breaths – breathing out for longer than you breathe in can help to calm you.
• Count to 10 – a simple act that can give you enough time to calm yourself before you react.
• Do something else – instead of reacting, try to distract yourself by doing something else. If you can, try to channel that energy into something creative.
• Listen to calming music/sounds – create a calming playlist and listen to it when you start to feel angry.

Try a few different distraction techniques and see what works best for you. Again, this is something you can discuss with your hypnotherapist as they may have some alternative suggestions.

Try some relaxation techniques

Stress and anger tend to go hand in hand. Many people find reducing their stress levels helps them to keep their anger under control. Relaxation techniques challenge the physical aspects of stress and anger. This can help you refrain from lashing out or behaving violently when you get angry.

Try some of the following techniques when you are feeling stressed:

• meditation
• visualisation
• yoga
• breathing exercises

One of the ways hypnotherapy for anger can help is by triggering the body’s relaxation response. During a hypnotherapy session, you will fall into a deeply relaxed state. It is at this point that the hypnotherapist offers suggestions to help control your anger.

Be assertive

As we have mentioned previously, being unable to express anger can lead to anger management issues. To help you express your opinions, it can help to learn how to be assertive. Being assertive allows you to tell people your opinions in a healthier way. Try the following tips for being more assertive:

• When you feel angry, tell people and explain why.
• When you do this, speak slowly and clearly.
• Use phrases like “I think” and “I feel” to put the focus on you rather than them.
• Try to make requests instead of demands or threats.
• Say “I might” and “I could” instead of “I should” or “I must”.

Having the ability to express yourself in this way should stop you from bottling up your emotions. This can be especially helpful to those who feel persistently angry.

Plan difficult conversations

If you know you have to have a difficult conversation that may make you feel angry, try to plan ahead. Make some notes about what you want to say using the assertive tips mentioned above. Plan some relaxation/distraction techniques if you think you may react quickly.

Sticking to your notes about what you want to say will help you stay in control. It will also help prevent you from getting side-tracked. If you can, talk to your hypnotherapist about the upcoming situation as they can advise you further.

Look at your lifestyle

Your diet and lifestyle can impact your body’s stress levels. This can have a significant effect on your anger levels, so is worth considering. A healthy, balanced diet can give you more energy and help you feel more upbeat.

Exercise is well known for reducing stress and can be an integral part of anger management. As well as boosting your mood, exercise promotes sleep and relaxation. This can be really helpful during your anger management treatment. If you don’t exercise already, speak to your doctor about what exercises you can try.